I have chills. Is it crazy of me to think God is speaking to my family through a church sign?!? If you’ve read my blog from the beginning, you may remember my story about the country church sign that we passed when we found out Eli had Down syndrome. And then every subsequent appointment after that. The sign gave us comfort when we were filled with uncertainty. That blog post is titled Having Faith. Then, the day before Eli was born, the words were gone. The sign was blank. I felt God was letting us know we were ok. We no longer needed those comforting words.
Well, today my husband called me after he almost ran his car off the side of the road on his way home from work. That sign, the one that has been blank since Eli’s birth, had been changed. It now says, “God is in control. Do not fear.” I immediately started to cry. You see, just two hours prior to the phone call from Chuck, I received a phone call from the cardiac surgery scheduling department. Eli’s heart surgery has been scheduled for next Tuesday, January 22. I had spent the last two hours completely terrified. My baby has to undergo a major surgery. A surgery that will stop his heart while a Heart-Lung Machine performs the function of both for him. Although I’ve known this day was coming it doesn’t lessen the worry. Getting the call from the hospital literally made me physically sick to my stomach. On one hand, I am relieved to finally get my sick boy healed. On the other hand, I am filled with dread. I do not know how I will ever be able to hand my precious baby boy over to the surgeons. I kept playing that moment over and over again in my head. And then I prayed. I asked God that He’d give me strength. I asked Him not to take my son from me. And then my husband called. For a moment, I forgot. I forgot that God is in control. It took a sign on a back country road to remind me.